Sometimes I get tired.
Tired of reading one more post about God’s promises. There’s nothing God can’t do, no brokenness he can’t heal, no territory lost he won’t restore over and above, no ash he won’t change to beauty.
True statements, yes.
But I get tired of hearing them in the midst of the waiting.
You see there’s no timetable on those promises. And some of my prayers I’ve been praying for a really long time. I bet you have to.
Unspoken Prayers
Do you remember in old school church meetings people would have unspoken prayer requests?
That’s what some of mine are now. Not because I can’t or won’t tell you. But unspoken because I can’t even talk about it one more time. Or think it. Or weep over it.
It’s unspoken and unthought. A prayer cut off in its seedling stage because I’ve planted acres and acres of liquid tears in that field already. There’s no room left.
And yet, the promises are still true. Ask and you will receive – John 16:24. Believe and don’t doubt – James 1:6.
But I do ask and I haven’t received.
I do believe and I also doubt.
What do we do with the waiting?
How do we wait well without losing hope. Without our faith fading to mist like a blanket of stars slowly concealed by night’s fog.
I don’t know yet. I’m still in the waiting.
Authentic Conversations
I guess the truest thing I can do right now is to keep showing up at the table. Keep braving hard conversations with friends about how my heart really is at this season in life. Keep showing up to my church and community events when I want to hide for the next century. Keep opening my journal and writing down the same thoughts and prayers in a different way. Keep listening to teachings about God’s goodness and yes, even God’s Promises. Keep faith. Keep hope.
And reject the thoughts that say I have nothing to offer. Reject the desire to give up on community after I’ve been hurt. Reject the lies that say my experience tells a different story than God promised in His word.
Because I only see in part. A tiny part. Today is just one day out of what I hope will be 36,500 days of life. If I look back a year ago or 5 years ago, I can see God’s faithfulness more clearly. So I will trust that in 5 years I’ll see how God is aligning my life and fulfilling my requests now.
I don’t see it. I choose to believe it. Faith is an action. And for me it requires more energy than I knew I possessed. But when I remember to ask, He gives grace and strength for me to hold on to his promises.
Heritage of Waiting Women
For now, during this season of life, I will sit in wonder and wait like the beautiful women of God who came thousands of years before me. Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth, and Mary knew what it was to wait and hope. Eventually, Isaac, Samuel, John the Baptist, and Jesus became their faithful reward.
Jesus, the King of Glory.
This week, we celebrate Jesus’s birth. Jesus is our gift of hope, strength, and joy. He came to us wrapped in the most unlikely fragile package. Through his birth and also his death, Jesus is the yes and amen to every promise we find in the scriptures. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
Even if our lives do not yet reflect every one of God’s promises in our natural lives, the work has already been accomplished for each one of us through Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 61 says Jesus has come…
Our Hope Is Jesus
The next time you’re tempted to roll your eyes when you see another overused scripture graphic on Instagram or hear another soundbite about holding onto hope and God’s Promises, remember Hope is a Person.
Jesus, is your Comforter, bringer of Joy, and giver of Praise. He’s the only one who can revive your hope while you wait for God’s promises to burst forth in glory like the dawning sun.
So, Precious Father, we ask for renewed grace and strength to believe and hold on to your promises until the day of their fulfillment in our lives! Like the infant Jesus, your gifts are worth the wait!
Thank you for this post, Leanna, and the hope and honesty you share!